By Kurt Hines, vice president and head of market management for Zurich’s Customer Industry Segment business unit
Okay, so the workplace is not exactly a revolutionary new spot for romance.
However, interoffice romance is still increasing at a modest pace, despite advice against it.
Is dating a coworker really
that bad? (Caveat: coworker here means someone who is
not your subordinate or supervisor, as dating either is always a bad idea … more on that later.)
Let’s evaluate the argument. You spend more waking hours at work than anywhere else. And lately, it seems like the hours are getting endless, right? This means more time with coworkers than anyone else, and also means more time to get to know them well compared with anyone else. You already have a lot in common with a coworker: same company, same industry, know many of the same people, etc.
Forty-one percent of employed Americans ages 25 to 40 have admitted to having engaged in an office romance, according to a joint survey sponsored by Glamour magazine and
lawyers.com. Twenty-two percent of office romances result in marriage, according to a study by the
Nierenberg Group. That’s not bad odds versus dating outside of work. However, that also means that 78 percent of us won’t end up with that fairytale ending like Pam and Jim from the TV show The Office.
If you do decide to date in the workplace, there are some important do’s and don'ts to consider:
- DO find out what your company’s policy is on interoffice romances. Go to your HR manager. Too nervous or uncomfortable to ask HR? Tell them that you’re asking because you’re writing a blog … worked for me! (fortunately, my HR manager knew I was married so asking HR their views wasn’t as uncomfortable as it could’ve been).
- DON’T engage in public displays of affection – no one really wants to see these no matter where they are, but especially not at work. Plus, it can lead to decreased productivity, because you’re putting coworkers in an uncomfortable environment (or, as was the case in some offices I’ve worked, coworkers might waste hours gossiping about you);
- DON’T ever date a subordinate, supervisor or anyone directly in your chain of command, up or down. It’s usually against company policy, and it becomes an integrity issue, which is much harder to overcome.
- DON’T date a current client. This is also an integrity issue, and it’s simply bad for business.
- DO think about the scenario of alleged sexual harassment. It’s a scary thought, but even a false allegation from a coworker can severely damage your career.
- DON’T use office e-mail to communicate with a coworker you’re dating, wooing, etc. You’re at work to WORK. So talk personal business when you’re not at your place of business. Besides, emails can be monitored.
- DO think about whether you’re willing to quit your job over a relationship. Interoffice romance is a double-edged sword: a bad relationship could sour to the point where it’s best to quit your job because it is such an uneasy situation, OR you could hit the relationship jackpot and get married, which might mean having to quit due to company policy, or simply becomes a sound move so that you diversify your financial risk by not having two paychecks from the same employer.
What do you think? Do you have any ‘friends’ who engaged in interoffice romance and what did you learn?
Kurt is vice president and head of market management for Zurich’s Customer Industry Segment business unit.In this role, Kurt works with each of the industry segment and distribution management teams and to define and execute growth strategies as well to help lead the development of new market segments. Read Kurt's previous blog entry, "Celebrity private pix aren't only privacy breaches."